Get In The Cab
by Dragon'sHost
Summary: Wherein Katsura attempts to share a cab with Gintoki, who is having none of it.


**This was a request from dear-friend-i-can-fly on Tumblr. I'm sorry it changed so much from your request, but I had a lot of fun. Writing for Gintama gives me too much freedom with the crazy.**

 **Prompt: "sharing a cab au"**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.**

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Katsura darted around a building corner, the Shinsengumi hot on his tail. "Shit!" he swore, seeing Okita pull out a rocket launcher from nowhere, with a manic grin on his face. That kid may have a baby face, but he also had one hell of a nasty streak!

"Where the fuck are you aiming that thing?!" a shriek erupted behind Katsura, followed almost immediately by bright light and a blast of heat against Katsura's back.

Oh thank goodness. The kid had tried to disintegrate his boss again (he just could not resist the temptation, could he?). That bought him a little time to escape.

Spotting a cab, Katsura flagged it down. "Hey! Cabbie! Get me away from here and I'll make it worth your while!"

The vehicle slowed a little, to the point Katsura could run alongside it. He tried the door – only to find it locked.

"Hey!" he yelled, pointing at the door. "Let me in!"

Then, in the cab's front seat, he saw the driver's grinning face and mop of silver hair as he rolled the window down. "Gintoki?! What are you doing driving a cab?!"

"Well, if it isn't Zura!" Gintoki taunted gleefully, his finger shoved halfway up his nose. "It's a job; isn't it obvious? Or are your eyes just decoration?"

"It's not Zura! It's Katsura!" the samurai corrected automatically. "Unlock the door and let me in!"

"No way!" Gintoki withdrew his finger and flicked the booger away. "I can't be seen associating with a known terrorist like you! And every time you show up, things end up way more trouble than they're worth and we don't get paid! I bet you did something stupid again!"

"Why did you slow down, then?!"

"So I could see your face when I do _this!_ " The cab began to speed up. "See you later, sucker!"

Nearby, there was another explosion. The Shinsengumi were getting closer!

Through sheer force of will, Katsura caught up to the cab. "Dammit, Gintoki! Let me in!"

"Hell no!"

Taking a chance, Katsura coiled his legs under him and leapt at the cab.

"What are you, a monkey?!" Gintoki shouted. "Get off the cab, asshole!"

Clinging to the top of the vehicle, Katsura yelled back, "It's not Zura! It's Katsura!" Katsura paused, banging sounds reaching his ears. Glancing behind him, he saw the trunk shaking. "Is there someone in there?! What kind of job were you doing?!"

"None of your business!"

The trunk's cover suddenly dented upward. "I think whoever's in there is about to escape!"

A police car skidded sideways out of a cross-street, sirens blazing. "You're not getting away, terrorist!" Okita Sougo grinned madly at the fleeing cab, standing so he was outside the sunroof, his rocket launcher steadied beside him. Behind him, several more police cars joined the pursuit.

At that moment, whoever was in the trunk of Gintoki's cab decided to give freedom one last go. The trunk lid suddenly blew off – flying through the air and colliding with Okita's face, then barreling past into the horde of following cars. All of which desperately tried to swerve out of the way, crashing into each other and the buildings.

"Strike!" the trunk's occupant shouted. A redheaded girl popped up into view. "Take that, you cornbally dog shits!"

"Leader!" Katsura exclaimed happily. "You saved me!"

Kagura turned to look at him. "What are you doing up there, you weirdo?"

"Being a fucking monkey!" Gintoki supplied. "Shit!" he suddenly screamed, an old, shaking woman choosing that exact moment to cross the street in front of him. "Why the hell did you decide to do this now, Grandma?!"

Everyone screamed as Gintoki swerved violently to avoid the hapless pedestrian, crashing into several poles and parking the car in a tree.

"Well. That was fun."

"Like hell it was you wavy haired bastard!"


End file.
